Friday, August 31, 2012

august.

to be honest, I'm glad August will be over tomorrow. Nothing against it personally, but I've just never enjoyed August much at all. Ever. And this year was no exception. That first week or so of the month spent re-acclamating to the United States (which took forever, btw, and put a damper on my otherwise smooth re-entry), trying to catch up on choreography for Bye Bye Birdie, a weekend trip to Saluda, weekly soccer games, heat, heat and more heat, political and election activity, and the back-to-school chaos. Not to mention emotional things - feeling let down by one of my oldest friends, letting go of some old ideas and dreams, struggling with decisions for my next few months, joy at the births of both  my cousin's daughter and another friend's daughter, anticipation for some trips coming up and my birthday, dealing with some unexpected firsts when it comes to relationships, a disturbing murder/suicide in our county, seeing friends who you love working through tough stuff, feeling like a failure, and confusion over pretty much everything.

It's been good for me, all of it, I think. at least, I pray it's been. Right now I just want to wake up and find out that all of this has just been an imagination, a dream, and the real, simpler life will be here when tomorrow comes....but the reality is, life is complicated and you can't just hide your head in the sand and wish you were nine years old again and life was about American Girl dolls and princess birthday parties and hair ribbons and gel pens.

and here's the thing: I know that God is and will help me through all this. I know that the fulfillment that I'm looking for can be found in Christ. I know that living in His will is the safest place. I know that our hope is Christ's final return, and I can't help praying that it will be soon. But it's hard to remember it all in the moment. So I pray for faith, and for peace. I pray a lot. And it's comforting, 'cause God's *actually there* listening to every word. Every word. Every confused, mumbled, lisped word. So I keep going.

and the reality is my life is awesome. It's just a little rocky right now. But I really have an amazing family, amazing friends, and above all, an amazing GOD. And this season will pass. And the fall will also be amazing. I mean, my birthday is coming up, how can that *not* make me just amazingly excited? I may have to do a blog party. After all, it's my eighteenth. And, good Southern gal that I am, tomorrow will be amazing because football season starts and we're going to the game :)

And of course there's my music. At the beginning of August I felt that I just *couldn't* play piano anymore. I was ready to give up. But praise God I didn't! And I'm actually getting gaining ground, meeting challenges and loving it again. And I blare my soundtracks with vigor and sing along, feeling my voice return. So that's something good to come out of this month *hehe*

thanks for listening to me unload. I try not to rant here...that's not really what blogs are for...but it's good to get my thoughts into words. Promise for perkier posts this week! It'll be lovely September then, and there's lots to share.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, or be dismayed, for the LORD  your God goes with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:9

4 comments:

  1. Chin up, Jo! We love you and are behind you all the way!

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  2. I'm just gonna give you a big ole internet hug, dear. *hugs* And now I'm going to pray that you have a peace in your heart as you go through this. :) Remember, this world is just a shadow of heaven, made hazy by sin. But everything will be multiple times more glorious when heaven and earth are made new.

    love you dear!
    ~bree

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  3. Please, let me encourage you. Life is hard but God is able. I'm at the other end of the spectrum but know, from experience, God hears our prayers and answers in ways that will bring His will to fruition, glorify Him and provide for us while protecting us. Nothing...NOTHING... happens to us, as Christians, that God does not allow!
    Good for you, still playing piano. It's something that will stand you in good stead throughout life and be a balm in Gilead to you.
    Life is always rocky, sometimes a bit more or less, but always rocky. Build your house on a firm foundation and though the seasons of life may blow about, you'll stand steady.
    Happy Birthday, count your blessings.

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  4. Hey!
    Happy September! August had plenty of challenges for me -- esp. in the "relationship firsts". But then this whole year has had a lot of firsts and confusion and foggy valleys. I know what it's like to be let down by your oldest friend and to feel like a failure (though I don't know what it's like to be excited about the first foot ball game of the year. Sorry, but there we differ). But you're not a failure. Your path, "is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." (Prov. 4:18) Don't let anyone tell you you are a failure. You are a success, because you are God's and He is infallible. He is able to keep you from falling (Jude 24). Well, at least didn't August have some awesome weather? It was amazingly mild.
    I'm glad you are back to piano passion. I've had a fun weekend with more piano time then lately, and was surprised at my skill on a couple brand new songs. I feel like I am getting there, and what a great feeling!
    And, since I just read your "comments" post, I'll go ahead and post this terribly long comment and hope you "approve". : P

    Love you,

    The Ordinary Princess

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