Monday, December 8, 2014

living spent.

You know, we only get one life. And we don't even know how long it is.


That thought in itself doesn't scare me. How ever long Jesus wants me on this earth really isn't any of my business, and I don't need to know. I have one life, and that's all I need.

But yet, there's a responsibility.

How am I using it?

That's a little intimidating to think about.

That IS my business.

And my only business should be the business of the Kingdom.

I've been thinking about this for the past week or so, as we've been on tour. Each night, when I tuck in the girls, I think to myself, "Did I give them all I had today? Did I spend myself in love, in prayer, in energy, in strength for them? When I say, 'I love you', did I show them that with my actions, or is it just words I say because I always do? Does my heart ache because I loved them so much I'm sore?"


Each day, I get twenty-hours to honor Jesus. (because yes, you can honor Him in your sleep.) I've been entrusted with twenty-four hours to shine His light on this earth.

He's given them to me to use them for His kingdom...the responsibility is mine.

Thankfully, He hasn't left me to do it alone. The Spirit living inside me is guiding me and leading me as I go...provided I'm not quenching Him. When I go to bed at night, did I give everything I had for Jesus? Did I commit myself to Him in such a way that He affected everything I did? Did I waste my time on myself, or did I take every minute captive and set my heart on the things of the kingdom?


How am I spending my days? Am I joyfully exhausted at the end of each day? Am I fully given to His cause in everything? Am I loving the people He's given me to love with all that I am - holding nothing back because I'm afraid of getting hurt, or losing them, or making myself vulnerable? Do my girls see me in prayer? Are my priorities clear to them - putting Jesus and them first, instead of myself?


Jesus gave everything for me. He lived spent. Heck, He actually physically gave up His life so I could live. I love the line of "He Made A Way in A Manger", a song the children are singing in concert this season, that says, "He is the life that died our death"....He lived to die. Am I dying daily so others might live?

I want the testimony of my life to be that I lived spent. That I gave everything, everyday, holding nothing back.


I don't want ever to be too tired, or too selfish, to give. I want to enjoy every little moment - from snuggling during movie night, to laughing playing dress up, to goodnight hugs and kisses; treasure every memory - from funny days on the road, to Thanksgiving dinner, to teaching everyone to ice skate; rest well when I sleep - even if it's just a few hours 'cause I'm awake comforting a sick little one, or packing and preparing to leave for tour; and spend my energy and strength when I'm awake to further the kingdom in every single task - big or small - laid before me, and every adventure Jesus brings.

When I ask these questions of myself, it's not to condemn or even really to convict...more to inspire me to keep my two little brown eyes focused upward, and to glory in the freedom and power He brings to my life to enable to live it fully.


“I seek not a long life, but a full one, like you Lord Jesus.” 
- Jim Elliot

3 comments:

  1. And this is why we are still best friends. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is such a good perspective! #parentingadvice :))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Liza, Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL message! I pray that the 24 precious hours that He gives to us each day while we are on this earth may be spent entirely for HIM - for His Glory. May He be seen through us. May we be unextinguishable lights to a lost and dark world. Thank you dear sister for setting a wonderful example of what this looks like.

    ReplyDelete