Monday, February 27, 2012

desires of your heart.

Convicted.

That's how I feel right now. And it's not bad type of conviction either. It's one of the healthy kinds.

You see, I'm a dreamer. That's why I have a bucket list. But even though I dream, I honestly don't expect many (if any) of those dreams to come true. And when they do...it's awesome. Recently, doors have been opening for me to do things that were so obscure, so not-possible, that I've been standing in a bit of a daze, trying to take it all in.  And these are little things. Like getting Double Superior at festival, or getting a consistent job at preschool, or going to Oliver!, or auditioning for Sound of Music, or even doing drama at all.
Paris Opera House

But there are bigger things I dream of. And I know God can give me those dreams too, if they're in His will.

Aha. Key point. IF.

My struggle right now: God has been answering my prayers left and right, in ways I did not expect. He has given me so many wonderful things. But somehow I feel, even though I'm not exactly sure how it feels, that just maybe I'm getting cocky. Is it too much to ask, God? Just let me be Liesl. Let me go to Nicaragua. Make me that awesome, completely 100% patient big sister I'm longing to be. And, yes, that other biggish-little silly wish too.
Vintage prom.

All I know is that I *want* to be God's will, desperately. And I also know that the concepts "commit your way to the Lord", "He will give you the desires of your heart", "When we are completely in Him, He will give us what we ask for", "We are happiest when we are entirely dependent on God" have come more than five times in ONE WEEK. Church, Kisses From Katie, family devotions, even the introduction to Oliver! for cryin' out loud....and I do know that that means God wants me to take it to heart. Even if that means giving up something that's not of Him.

So I wait.....hopefully patiently. Staying in the Word, praying for direction, and hoping, hoping, hoping that MY desires are HIS desires.Bible

6 comments:

  1. Amen, Jo! That's my prayer too. I pray that the Lord will direct your way, because I know HIS plans for your life are perfect, whatever they may be!

    In His love,
    ~Joy @ joy-live4jesus.blogspot.com

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  2. I so feel this post, Jo. :) I'm glad for you-and I can promise you that your dreams will continue to come true in unexpected ways. :)

    blessigs!

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  3. oh, Jo, this is a beautiful lesson. I too am learning the difference between what God wants and what I want- and learning to be okay with his plans.

    (oh, and let me know when you discover how to be that 100% perfectly patient sister. I might need to be working on that one too.)

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  4. Thanks for reminding me of that, Jo. I'll be praying that you will be so close to God that His desires and your desires are one and the same. (You can pray the same thing for me.) :)

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  5. This is very true. I like this post because I'm sometimes aware that his plans, I guess, often aren't my plans.

    -Anon.

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  6. Amen. I feel like I know exactly where you are. Of course, we can never ask more than God can give us - or more than He wants to - but the problem comes when I make getting what I want necessary for my happiness rather than just an addition to it. And "cocky" is the perfect word. I have had so many prayers answered and wishes come true, but each one is a gift, not something I have earned.
    Thank you for the timely reminder!

    Blessings to you,
    The Ordinary Princess

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