Monday, April 30, 2012

not perfect.

There are days (like today) when I wish I was already grown up. I mean, *normally* I like being a teenager and figuring things out and getting older and gaining experience...but now I wish I already had it. I wish I already knew what my life is going to look like. I wish I knew what I'd be doing to earn a living, what "higher eduction" I'd decided to pursue, or where I'd live. I don't like being "in-between" - ready to be on my own or completely dependent.

There are days (like today) when I wish our family had no rules. No almost-impossible-to-keep "promises" for good behavior. No structured schedules to keep us on track. No trust issues - 'cause there'd be nothing to trust. No relationships to work on. No profile or reputation to maintain.

There are days (like today) when I wish...that...that...that I could be happy and perfectly content right where I am. That I could truly be happy at home. Truly be happy without the attention or even friendship of people close to me. Truly happy without my dreams to keep me going. Truly happy in the midst of a lot of change (or upcoming change). Truly happy *alone*.

Annnnnnnd.....there are days (like today) that I know that the one real thing I need to do is pray and be in Scripture - even if I don't really want to be. I need to get right with God, right with my parents. Humble myself. Even though I may not want to see or see the reason why.

Sum of this post: I'm not perfect. I never will be. It's days like today that remind me of just how lost I really am. How hopeless I am on my own. And what a *merciful* and *forgiving* Savior we have.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Here I am, April 25th. It's hard to believe six months have whizzed by so fast, and now I'm officially seventeen and a half - just six more short months away from eighteen. Do you have any idea how *fast* time flies!?! Some people say it passes one day at a time...but I find that hard to believe. *smirk*

My Half-Birthday (as we affectionally call it in the March home) finds me balancing school, drama, family, relationships, music, summer planning, Spanish exams, work, and costume sewing. In other words: LIFE. And I like it. Anyone can like anything for four and a half weeks [which is how much longer before the shackles of school will be thrown off and ¡estarĂ© libre!] and now that the end is so close, I almost want it to slow down just a little. Well...yeah. Just a very little.

So today I have successfully knocked out two lessons of Geometry (this thorn in my side will be completed, Lord willing, on FRIDAY!), a whole weeks' worth of Health, finished a chapter of Economics, did all of Module #13 of Biology (*I deserve extra dessert for putting up with this book*) and attempted to work on part of my oral Spanish exam. Notice I said "attempt" - which evitably means a late night tonight once we get back from church.

And I have listened to my soundtrack playlist at least twice through, run my Pandora down to the wire, and have fallen in love with the Latin Spanish soundtrack of The Little Mermaid. peoples have a great afternoon - I'm off to church for our Wednesday night meal. Three cheers for church family!

Monday, April 23, 2012

love is not love

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments.
Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

- sonnet 116 - william shakespeare - 
- emphasis mine -

Friday, April 20, 2012

finding the perfect one.

I've been exploring different potential dresses as an end-of-the-school-year/graduation gift to myself from either myself or my parents. After looking at several different locations (online and in-store), I'm pretty sure I'm going to get one from ModCloth - which has more variety than anywhere else, plus their dresses are so downright cute that it's going to be hard to whittle it down to one :) This site is eye-candy for a summer-dress lover like me!

click on each dress to see the product listing on

Take a Spin DressVery cute. Gives me some incentive to take that extra weight off

Something to Provence DressAlways Cheerful Dress

daffo-deal dress (modcloth)

Lost and Sound DressPaint Life Grand Dress

Seen in the cloudsPull Up a Cherry Dress

See my dilemma??? They're all so lovely and's going to be hard choice. Maybe I should do two....hmm...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

a fresh start.

So last week was pretty....awful. Just nothing went right, school was boring, rehearsal was a waste of time, the piano didn't sound right, Pandora didn't play anything good, and my relationships were confusing me beyond belief. It was just, not good. By Friday, I knew that it was not just one thing, it was everything that was messed up. All I wanted was the new week to start.

Thankfully, Saturday got off to a great start and I got a lot accomplished sewing-wise. But I was right. It *was* just that week in general. 'Cause without anything major happening, this week has been 110% better :)

At the moment, I'm sitting outside on our big country front porch, with my Broadway Pandora station playing, a glass of water to my right and Spanish homework (oh joy!) on my left. Last week, I might've been majorly bothered by the fact that our shampoo has been out for 36 hours (which is why my hair is braided *cough* *blush* *rolls eyes* that was probably more info than you needed :P), but today I don't mind. At all.
via pinterest

Tuesdays are the days I work in the preschool our church runs in the basement of our building. Out of the thirty or so children, only five or so actually go to our church, so it's not really our "church preschool" but more of a church-run preschool. It's great fun. Lots of fun stories, since our age range is two to five. :) Today my little guy friend J. picked a whole handful of dandelions and buttercups for me, which I carried in a styrofoam cup all the way to school and back :) I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm just going to wait for that little fella to grow up - it'll make life less complicated :P *deep sigh* Oh, dear readers, you have no idea how light I feel today...after the weight and burden and heaviness of last week.

My Broadway station is awesome, btw. Just sayin'. Since starting this post, I've heard "Benjamin Calypso" [Joseph], "Tomorrow" [Annie],  "The Wizard and I" [Wicked], "Part of Your World" [Little Mermaid - yes that is a B. show!], "Sadder But Wiser Girl for Me" [Music Man], and now "Hello, Dolly!" [Hello Dolly]. *another happy sigh*

I have a few movie reviews in the making for you all, plus some other (hopefully) fun posts. With only five weeks (not counting this week) left of school, I'm starting to feel the light feet of summer inspiration coming upon me. Wait. Did I just say FIVE WEEKS of school left????? *joyful swoon*

"Must I now begin to doubt? Who never doubted all these years?" *ahhhh!!!* Now I can't decide whether I would want to be Eponine or Javert or Enjolras if I were ever to be in Les Mis :P Javert has such a tragically epic part...same as Enjolras....same as Eponine. "There is no where I can turn! There is no way to go oooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" *da da dum dum dum-dum* Oh, gracious. Now it's playing Music of the Night. Told you all it was a good day! Gollleee.

Okay, so off I go. Time to get some work done and enjoy the weather some more. And count off some more hours until May 25th. :)


a very happy Jo-dear.

Sunday, April 15, 2012


100 years ago, at approximately 11:40pm on April 14, 1912, the unsinkable RMS Titantic struck an iceberg...and by 2:20am the following morning, had completely sunk. A great tragedy of world history, and a valuable lesson that man can build and plan, but ultimately it is God who controls.

Source: via Scott on Pinterest

Saturday, April 14, 2012


Happy Birthday to my fantastic sister-like cousin! It's hard to believe that we're almost grown up...what with highschool being practically over, and you getting ready to head off to college this fall. Craziness! I remember when we thought *ten* was old, and look where you are now! *grin*
I hope your day is blessed and full of joy! (and more craziness...enjoy the mud warrior :D)
Julia and I // Resurrection Sunday 2012
Love ya!

Friday, April 13, 2012

for Mr. Jefferson.

Friday, April 13th. It's someone's birthday - and frankly, I'd forgotten until my Mother-Dear reminded us at breakfast this morning. How I'd forgotten is completely beyond me, frankly, I should be ashamed. After all, I have spent my entire life under the shadow of this great man.
Thomas Jefferson
b. April 13, 1743

He'd be 269 years old today...and his influence is still so heavy and predominate here it's hard to believe it's been almost three centuries since his birth. My town practically worships this man - which is good and bad :D - and he really was brilliant. Yes, he had his flaws. Some rather major. But God used him to help create this nation, as well as set a standard for education and freedom that is still challenging students and individuals today.

His home, Monticello, is a masterpiece of design and genius. It's full of the neatest little inventions and gadgets, not to mention the structure of the house itself is perfectly preportioned. The gardens, the paths, the outbuildings, the cellars, the location. It's one of my favorite spots on earth. I love this place.

Before Mr. Jefferson died, he requested that only three of his many life accomplishments be remembered on his tombstone. His headstone says, "Here was buried Thomas Jefferson, author of the Declaration of Independence, of the Statute of Virginia for Religious Freedom, and father of the University of Virginia." That's it.
I would hope that my American readers (and I assume most of my out-of-country readers know this as well) are familiar with our Declaration of Independence, which stated that the thirteen colonies of America were declaring themselves free and independent from the rule of George IV and the British Parliament. Congress voted on July 2nd to declare independence, voted on the wording of the Declaration on July 4th, and finished signing it on August 2, 1776. Mr. Jefferson was responsible for writing the document, and that was the first thing he wanted to be remembered for.

Secondly, he mentioned the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom. This is a less-well-known work, but very important. It became part of Virgina state law in 1786, and was a basis for the establishment and free exercise clauses of the First Amendment of our national Constitution. Here's an excerpt from the final paragraph:
Be it enacted by General Assembly that no man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief, but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinions in matters of Religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish, enlarge or affect their civil capacities.
Lastly, but certainly not least, Mr. Jefferson wanted to be remembered as the "father of the University of Virginia." He believed strongly in education, and was heavily involved in the university proceedings until his death. Neat Fact: Mr. Jefferson made UVA the first college in the United States to offer Astronomy, Architecture, Botany, Philosophy and Political Science as major. Before then, colleges only offered Medicine, Law, and Religion.

The college still stands as originally designed by the man himself. It is still active today, having grown in leaps and bounds since it was established by Jefferson in 1819 - almost two hundred years ago. The picture above is of the Rotunda, which sits sedately at the head of the Lawn - one of UVA's iconic and most famous attractions. And probably my second favorite spot ever.

Thomas Jefferson was an incredible man. It's funny, lots of touristy-type people can't seem to get past the scandals surrounding him. All the books written about you-know-who and the whisperings and the fact that the story is actual in the Jefferson picture-books now. Blech. Reality is, lots of famous people have moral issues, and that's their business. But others are able to move beyond the messy history and see the genius. They can appreciate the intellect that God blessed Mr. Jefferson with, and understand the thoughtfulness and foresight that guided his ideas for our country and the state. It's when you see the *good* things that you can understand why.

Here are Jeffersonian quotes to wrap up with:

"When people fear the government, there is tyranny. When government fears the people, there is liberty."

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have."

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

"In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock."

"I cannot live without books."

Happy Birthday, Mr. Jefferson, and thank you for your contributions to our society!

Thursday, April 12, 2012


"I'm wishing...(I'm wishing)...for the one I love to find me...(to find me)"

wishing...that school was over already. *Five* more weeks!? Why, oh, why, oh why?

wishing...that I knew how to swing dance.

wishing...that I would never have another zit on my face from now until the day I die.

wishing...that I had time and resources to do everything I want to do at this moment

wishing...that I was actually *good* at school. I don't like feeling dumb.

wishing...that all guys wore top hats. *smile*

wishing...that I could audition and be in all the musicals here in town this fall and spring. not having to pick just one.

wishing...that I could drive.

wishing...that I knew what this fall was going to look like, that I knew how I'm going feel once my graduated friends move away.

wishing...that I could go to Nicaragua all summer - as well as stay here and swim and coach all summer. Not have to split both in half.

wishing...that I could go to Branson this weekend.

wishing...that staying-in-shape was easier than it actually is.

wishing...that I could play violin and guitar as well as I do the piano.

wishing...that I was in control of my life.

thankful...that I'm not in control, and that God knows best.
On days like today, I pray that He will help me keep my focus and stay content where I am.

Monday, April 9, 2012

it's april.

Wow, life has been moving fast! It seems like yesterday that it was New Year's, and now here we are in April. Craziness. School has kept me *very* busy - on Week Four of my intensive 10-week (self-created) syllabus that will have me finishing 12th grade on May 25th. That's incentive enough to keep me going! The garden is now up and running, and our dozen hens *finally* are giving us a dozen eggs a day! :) Plus, to add to the general animal hectic-ness, six Rhode Island Red chicks have joined the mix:
They're big enough to be outside during the daytime, we only have to bring them in at night. But still, the lower level of the house smells like chicken feed and dirt and fertilizer (natural and store-bought :D).

On the extended family side of things, my cousin is now an RPSN, and we got to see him in March for the first time since before he left for bootcamp....before Christmas. We're all *very* proud of him. When he came home, we had a family cookout at my aunt's so everyone could see him and hang out. Later in the evening, we skyped with the FTRs and got our first glimpse of little Miss FTR (due in August). I love my family!

I've been enjoying a little more sister-sister time with my baby girl...and looking forward to even more sibling-bonding opportunties once school is out. They're all growing up so fast - time is FLYING. Almost everyday, I hear in my mind, "Oh, darlin' don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow, just stay this little..."

my precious baby.

And then Holy Week was upon us. (it always comes up so fast!) Passover and Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Resurrection Sunday....

and all the little fun things that come with RS celebrations :D

I played piano for our entire Good Friday service, half of the sunrise service, and then six of the eight songs for the normal Resurrection Sunday service. And I only had about a day to learn each service. But it was an incredibly fun learning experience (I was playing with our rapidly-developing worship team) and I can't wait to do more! 

The annual egg hunt at Grandma's...Julia and I hid eggs this time around. The past five years or so we've sorta switched back and forth from hiding to hunting - either way we have a good time. Mark showed up unexpectedly on liberty, so it was great to see him again.

Pride and Prejudice <3 <3 <3Tonight is quiet and today ran smoothly. I spent the morning and into the afternoon working steadily on school, until about three or so. I volunteered to sew for The Sound of Music, so I've been working on seven uniform-type skirts and five aprons for our abbey singers, novices, and postulants - and it's been quite a handful! On Saturday I sewed for four straight hours and still didn't finish. Tonight I'm going to work some more. The skirts are almost done (halleluyah!) and then I have to aprons to do. And on Wednesday I'm getting another load. Booyah. I've been watching the long Pride and Prejudice to help pass the time - I love that movie. I realized that I have all six episodes memorized - which tells you how many times I've seen it :) If only we still talked and behaved like this noble gentlemen of literature. Darcy, Bingley, Uncle Gardiner, Colonel Fitzwilliam...*sigh* I just love that line when Darcy comes into Rosings after Elizabeth has rejected him (beginning of Ep. 4) and Fitzwilliam greets him with, "There you are, Darcy. We'd quite despaired of you!" I mean, honestly! Next time I can't find someone, I'm going to say I've "despaired" of them. It's so...refined sounding. :D

Oh, speaking of Sound of Music, our director offered me a role as one of the adult nuns in B I get to do *both* weekends - as two different parts. It does mean hours and hours and hours more rehearsal (I'll be spending one whole weekend in town with G&G so I can get to rehearsals easier) but I'm so excited about it that it doesn't matter :) I will have to work harder to keep up with school, but hey.

So, Zuzu's had a rough day and needs to go to bed. And there are skirts to sew and dishes to wash and school to be done (and Darcy to watch :D) so I should go....

Love you all, and I hope everyone is doing well! What have you all been up to? How was your Resurrection Sunday? Keep me informed, y'all!


Josie Pye :D

Friday, April 6, 2012

good friday

The day our sweet Savior gave up His life so that we could live.

It was terrible. There was nothing clean or dignified about His death. There was blood. There was mess. There was intense and excruciating pain and suffering.

And I am so grateful.

And He did it because He loves us. Because He loves me. All that.

"We love Him because He first loved us."