Saturday, April 27, 2013

it's so hard.

"We live by hope."

It's true. Hope of what is to come is what gets us out of bed in the morning, keeps us running when the going gets tough, and focuses our attentions.

The generations before Christ lived in hope that the promises that YHWH made to them would come to pass. It gave them courage to stand up to false gods, and kept them from despair. Now, that's not not saying they didn't doubt - we all do. But their hope of salvation united them as a people.

Now we live in hope of Christ's Second Coming. I had honestly never thought about this until a couple weeks ago when Pastor Sam preached on it. We live in hope of Christ's Second Coming. Our hope is that the promise that God, the Just, will be satisfied to look on Jesus, and pardon us. That is our hope.

Do you ever doubt that God cares about you personally? Do you ever wonder if He thinks of you, loves you, and wants you with Him?

He gave up His only Son to die for your sins. YOUR sins. He died. For you. His blood - the most precious thing in the universe - was required to wash your sins away.

And what do we do in return? We forget to read our Bibles first thing in the morning. We pray on occasion. We idolize things made by man. We throw His sacrifice back in His face and say, "Thanks, but I can do it by myself."

And now I drop the "we" and the "us". This is my struggle. I love my Jesus, and I want to be in His will. My joy does come from Him, my peace does come from Him, but it's a daily fight for me to keep my focus. It's so hard. And it's not even the "bad" things that get in the way - it's the good, the beautiful things, like music and family and art, that pull my mind away.

Yes, I know He forgives. Yes, I know He loves me even when I am unfaithful. Yes, that is a comfort. But shouldn't that knowledge spur me to pursue Him more…instead of sit here, content with my stagnant faith?

I hold to the hope that my prayers are being answered. That He is leading my steps. That my summer spent in sole pursuit of Him in a set-apart environment will bear fruit. That my efforts to wake up earlier and devote time to the Word will not be in vain. That the desire to have a greater desire for things of God is from the Spirit.

"I live by hope."

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