Friday, August 19, 2016

and just like that, it's over.

august 21, 2015. hardest goodbye.
Tomorrow, the most defining characteristic of the past twelve months of my life is over. Finished. Done.

The long distance relationship that really started with a gut-wrenching goodbye on August 21, 2015, was magnified by an official beginning on October 26 of that year, and then quadrupled by a proposal April 27, 2016, is coming to a close.

This season, the hardest, sweetest, most challenging, most joyful season, of our lives has changed us, shaped us, and drawn us to Jesus and to each other in ways we never dreamed. I never knew that I could love one person as much I've fallen in love with this amazing man this year. And I never knew that loving him could bring such a depth to my relationship with Jesus as it has. This love is the ultimate picture of Christ and the church, and now I totally see why. I can't fully comprehend it, but I see it.

I've cried more this year, ached more this year than any other season of my life. It's been crazy hard. I've walked through so many heartaches - made more brutal by the fact that my very best friend in the whole world was hundreds or thousands of miles away the entire time.

But Jesus has proven Himself faithful. Altogether lovely, altogether worthy.

our first photo together, november 1, 2015.

Tomorrow, I fly to Colorado almost a year to the day that I left last summer. I haven't seen any of my friends or former coworkers in twelve months, it's been a whirlwind of a life changing year for all of us, and I'm completely overwhelmed and frankly a little scared.

But my heart is pounding out of my chest, I can barely focus, and I'm giddy with anticipation because starting tomorrow, I will spend more days in the same place as my beloved than we have this entire year combined, and the days we will spend apart between now and the day we are husband and wife we can count on just about one hand. (Fifty-nine days till that glorious day, in case you were wondering)

after the first few grueling months apart, together at last Christmas 2015

In less than twenty four hours, I'll be in his arms, holding his hand, in his space. OUR space. There's tears in my's almost too much to take in...I mean, it's only been six weeks since I saw him last, but this is it. The end of being apart. After this, TOGETHER is our new reality.

engagement shoot, July 5 2016. (photo by Jess Stoltzfus)
All the letters, the emails, the thousands of texts...the countless FaceTime calls at all hours of the night, the tears, the laughter, the thousands of selfies we took trying to bring each other into our daily lives...the disappointments, the missed calls, the late nights, the early mornings, the desperation, the intense joy and the overwhelming's ALL WORTH IT.


And I can't hardly wait!

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.
- Isaiah 40